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Diary of High-Stakes Virgins: Breshad Perriman DGAF Edition

When we first signed up for the FFPC Main Event three months ago, all of our hopes and dreams were in tact.

First, we’d win our league. Then we’d win the $250,000 grand prize. We’d document our road to glory via the podcast. Our story would capture the hearts and minds of America. The media would hound us for interviews, like a couple of modern day Ken Bone’s (before it was revealed he was a skeevy reddit user). We’d go on ‘Live with Kelly’ and tell her about Zero RB. The President would invite us and Amari Cooper to the White House for a dinner…

It all seemed so attainable, so realistic.

And yet here we are after five weeks. Our team is 1-4. We have the third fewest points in our 12-team division. The best running back on our roster is arguably Jalen Richard. The days of Stefon Diggs putting the team on his back are but a distant memory. Our championship aspirations are crushed. Kelly Ripa isn’t calling. We can barely even muster the energy to submit our waiver claims. We are sad, broken men.

We might not be able to win any money, but you know what we can do? We can DGAF. And this week that means starting Breshad Perriman. Sure, we could start Terrance Williams instead. He’s objectively the better play. But no one is unzipping their pants and letting their big balls swing because they started Terrance Williams. But Perriman? Now that’s a different story.

I’ll let Pat take it from here…

So first of all, let’s talk about Steve Smith. He’s not likely to play this week due to an ankle injury he suffered last week. Now let’s talk about Perriman. Guess who led the Ravens in air yards last week? Mike Wallace. Just kidding, it was Perriman. But speaking of Wallace, he was limited in practice for much of the week. So with Smith likely out and Wallace banged up, it’s important to note that Perriman saw 28 percent of the Ravens air yards last week, compared to just 10 percent for Kamar Aiken.

Perriman hasn’t been efficient this season, but he did nearly have a game-winning TD last week. Perriman made the catch and it was called a TD on the field, but it was overturned because he didn’t get his second foot in bounds.

So he has target upside and potentially TD upside. That’s about as much as we can hope for at the moment.

I should also mention, I couldn’t help but notice that our friend Jacob Rickrode snuck Perriman in as his FantasyLabs WR Play of the Week. So if you don’t want to take our word for it, you can take solace in knowing the sharp, new co-host of RotoViz Radio is on the Perriman train as well.

Team Fantasyland has very few things we can hang our hat on this season. We thought it was going to be Diggs, but that groin injury has really taken the bloom off that rose. Sure, a few of our early round investments like Cooper and Allen Robinson have paid off, but there is not a single “hit” on the rest of our roster.

So we need something, anything, to put some wind in our sails. Morale is low and we must ford the river. You are our only hope, Breshad. We are old enough to remember when your hairline wasn’t a punchline and your prospect profile gave many a RotoViz’er a tingly feeling. Don’t let us down. One time, man. We need this.

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