Welcome back, dear reader…....

Ah, your season is over. You look back and count your mistakes. You start gearing up for the 2017 draft, even though Nick Chubb and Royce Freeman are no longer going to be a part of it. Ugh. You’re depressed, now. Denny Carter starts making sense. And yet, shimmering in the distance: 32 jokes that never cared whether you won or lost in the first place…....

I went to San Diego State University, so I’m always calling him “Steve” Fisher in my head. Charlie Kleinheksel has had to fix it for me once or twice; sometimes I don’t catch it myself…....

[Like so many wild horses, spoilers roam freely here. If such unpleasant business gets you a bit namby-pamby, kindly skedaddle and thanks for the click.]…...

We in the cult of Christine Michael will take advantage of almost any opportunity to talk about him. But, he already had his own special edition of the Freedman Report after Week 3, so I’m going to make sure I cover some of the other happenings from Week 10…....

Earlier this week, I wasted minutes of my life photoshopping Hillary’s head onto Christine Michael’s body. You know the one; the star-spangled jumpsuit, gold chains, and mismatched designer sneakers. It wasn’t my best work, but neither is this column. Time for some jokes…....

To quote basically everyone, I was “on BYE” last week. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that on my own. Well-rested though I am, it’s also probably going to be the cleverest joke this week. Welcome to the Freedman Report: Expect nothing; get less…....

Man, I can’t believe the Chargers won. It’s been a non-stop celebration since last Thursday. I’m not even sure I remember any of the games except that one. But, as Maggie says, “You don’t even need to watch the games to write this column. Nothing needs to happen at all.” San Diego Chargers If this team was going to win even once more before San…...

Hey, about last week: Sorry for misleading you guys with promises of hilarious rap references. I was just lying to impress you…....

Last week, savvy readers realized that I had spelled “Christine Michael” with the first letter of each heading. That’s why I listed “Indianapolis Colts” three times. This week, I am so zonked out on cold medication that the most interesting thing I’ll probably do is reference last weeks’ easter eggs. It’s gonna be a rough one. But I was this close to not even doing it this…...

We have waited so long for this day…....

[Week 2] is a dimension that is a dark reflection, or echo, of our world. It is a place of decay and death; a plane out of phase; a place with monsters. It is right next to you and you don’t even see it. -Stranger Things Episode 5, “The Flea and the Acrobat”…...

Every year, without fail, Week 1 teaches us “lessons” that probably won’t have much staying power against the backdrop of an entire season. If I were writing this column after Week 1 of last year, I’d probably have spent four paragraphs on Darren Fells. I’d have called him “Darren Fellskowski.” The heading would’ve been “How I Fells in Love with Darren.” You get the idea. Recognizing…...

Hi, my name is Matthew Freedman — oops, I mean ‘John Solis.’ In the early days of RotoViz, I wrote weekly positional breakdowns called The Backfield Report and The Wideout Report. They were exquisitely non-actionable and rarely humorous. In short, the worst…....

In seven rounds, with a total of 32 picks, the AFC West collectively managed to draft eight players who might make a difference on your fantasy team. Of those eight, only three were selected in the first three rounds. Are you as amped as I am!? LETS DO THIS. A word about non-skill positions, generally I’m not trying to shit on Joey Bosa. I like…...

This post is part of a series of articles where various RotoViz writers name their favorite buy low for dynasty fantasy football, with a look at the 2016 NFL season and beyond. At the conclusion of the series, the authors will get together to rank the various nominations in one final post. In this installment, John Solis discusses his pick, Eddie Lacy…....

Have you heard that new song all the kids are listening to? It’s called “ZeroRB,” and it’s the latest and greatest from famed European House DJ Shawn Siegele. Wait, what do you mean “it came out three years ago”?…...

In dynasty, your season is never over. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself because I have definitely been mostly eliminated from contention at this point. Even though all sensible leagues are currently locked down as the championship game looms, real-life NFL players remain blissfully unaware that their on-field actions are affecting their all-important dynasty values! Let’s take a look at some of week…...